What do you call a bee that works for the government?
A Pollentician!
Why don't scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together!
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was two-tired!
How does a snowman get around?
By riding an "icicle"!
Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
What did one hat say to the other?
Stay here, I'm going on ahead!
What state is round on the ends and high in the middle?
Ohio!
Who was the roundest knight in King Arthur's court?
Sir Cumference!
What type of hole do you mend with more holes?
A net!
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it didn't want to get stuck in a crack!
How do you make a hot dog stand?
You steal its chair!
Why did the nurse bring a red pen to work?
In case she needed to draw blood!
Where do you find a cow with no legs?
Right where you left it!
Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot!
Why do golfers wear two pairs of socks?
In case they get a hole in one!
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bull dozer!
What do you call someone who doesn't have a body or a nose?
No body nose!
What is a swimmer's favorite exercise?
Pool-ups!
Why can't Cinderella play soccer?
She always runs away from the ball!
What do you call it when a dinosaur makes a soccer goal?
Dino-score!
What runs around the soccer field, but never moves?
The fence!
Where is the best place to get a new soccer uniform?
New Jersey!
What does a dinosaur do when it's sleeping??
Dino-snore!
Why did the swiss cheese go to church?
Because it was holey!
What do you call a cow that's red?
A red cow!